The Falling Off

I was a tween/teen sci fi nerd. Having devoured John Christopher's post-apocolyptic "The White Mountains" trilogy, I went on to his "Prince in Waiting" trilogy. In which "before times" technology was held close by the powerful, only to be wielded in rituals to convince the masses into compliance. I thought, "Wait, all this Bible stuff? Couldn't it really be just smoke and mirrors?" I went ahead with confirmation because that was what one did. But in true teenage rebellion, I then immediately declared I was an atheist. Within a couple years, I figured out that "There is no God" is unacceptably arrogant, and settled into being an agnostic -- "What the hell do I know?"

I was comfortable calling myself agnostic for 40-ish years. But as a scientist, I was never happy with "What the hell do I know?" So, I was a seeker. Wandering is the wilderness. For 40-ish years. How biblical.

(c) Carol VanZoeren 2023

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